Year One

So a year on from tying the knot, I’ve been reflecting a fair amount about how things have changed and the journey we have been on.

You learn a whole other side to the person you love and yourself when you move in with them. No matter how much time you spend together or how well laid your plans are, nothing quite prepares you.

If you’ve ever lived in a shared house, some of the niggles you’ll know already. wet towels left lying; dishes; laundry, they all seem to sit for an eternity more than you think you would leave them. And it irks that it’s not your mess entirely either.

Also, whilst I wouldn’t change it for the world; perhaps getting a dog (puppy) the day you come home from honeymoon (literally) isn’t the best idea either. You immediately get into toilet training and behavioural training etc, etc. Good training for having kids; certainly makes you take your time having them!! Better yet – why not get two!! (dogs) and start toilet training all over again.

I found myself feeling like I was losing part of my identity that I had had on my own – my individualness, not my individuality per se, but a part of myself that used to be all mine – and now that I was sharing my space, myself, I was struggling to find where my identity sat within it all. How do you be yourself while also too now being Mrs Wife, Daughter in Law, Mother to two wee dogs (in a manner of speaking) and responsible for keeping a house in order. You’re no longer responsible for just yourself, pleasing yourself, looking after yourself – even in the way you do when you’re a girlfriend or fiancee, it’s different. Different now you live with someone – shared responsibilities. Shared life.

IMG_0054

It’s an adjustment that every couple has to make in some shape or form, especially so for me, as Craig had worked away during the weeks in London for a year or so before we got married.  I was very used to my own company, my own space and not having to deal with or think about anyone else when I had finished work for the day. Craig worries when I’m too quiet, and we have had to meet halfway between him realising that it’s just the way I am in the everyday – not just when I haven’t seen him all week, and between me realising that my husband needs me to talk to him to be reassured that I’m ok!

They say that the first year or years of marriage are the hardest, and they’re not wrong. But as my mum says, the good still needs to outweigh the hard and difficult. And fortunately for us, I believe it always does. I wouldn’t change a thing about my (our) life together – not even when Mouse chews the door frames or pees on the kitchen floor despite having spent the last 3 previous days using the dog door (Papi is a golden boy he doesn’t do that anymore lol).

My husband and I are not perfect. We work hard at life and at our relationship. He’s very supportive and loves and provides strength for me beyond words and I do my best to do the same. Some days we succeed and some days we have to swallow our pride and just give eachother a hug at the end of the day and promise eachother that tomorrow will be better.

Love wins out in the end. Always.

I’d love to hear some of your stories, some of your experiences and whether they bear any resemblance to ours!

Love,

Twinkle xo

Advertisements

6 Comments Add yours

  1. thepackheals says:

    Congratulations! I actually got married a little bit over a year ago, and we also got a dog immediately after (now thinking about another! Ha!). I wish you both the best! 🙂

    Like

    1. Awesome! It makes a huge difference watching the two puppers together! Congrats and all the best to you also. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. thepackheals says:

        Yes, I think ours needs a buddy! He is definitely a social dog, so we are definitely considering it!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. rmcconk says:

    Happy anniversary! We were a year married in April and since it was 2nd time round for us both it meant me selling my house I’d lived in for nearly 15years, moving a week after the wedding and finding myself sharing the parenting of my 2 (biological) children and becoming (the wicked) stepmum to 2 of his.
    It has taken a huge amount of adjusting, talking, tears, hugs, some arguments, kisses and lots of prayer to keep it all together.
    I had been a single mum for over 6years and I still have to zip my mouth to allow my darling man to parent my/our children without interfering at every step. I also have had to learn that fighting over dishes being left in cold, dirty water is a battle I will never win but in turn I have a husband who does more housework than me most weeks so I can’t complain!!
    The times I find it very difficult I remind myself how far from perfect I am and take a minute before opening my mouth!
    Praying for you 2 and many happy years ahead x

    Like

    1. Congratulations! Isn’t I’d amazing what you can resolve and accomplish when it comes to it with God! Thank you for reading and sharing with me 🙂 x

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s