My Why – Failure Complex

Hi Twinklettes!

Haven’t posted in a wee while and felt it was about time! Today I want to talk about my WHY for starting blogging, vlogging, and my new business.

I must say, this probably goes back to the day I decided Primary School Teaching was no longer for me. it had been a long time coming, with lots of tears, stress and tantrums. Of all things, I was failing on paperwork, which is something I normally excel at.

At that point, I felt like I was being given a message: It’s not meant to be.

Now I would recommend teaching to anyone in its various forms; it is an amazing way to make a difference to peoples’ lives, immensely satisfying and rewarding. The one caveat I feel is on it is that you need to really, really want to do it, know and accept how it is going to impact your lifestyle, or there’s no point. 

For my part, I had no idea that Primary Teaching IS a lifestyle in itself, during my placement in 3rd year was the first time you really got a sense of what level of work and responsibility you will have, and what you’re in for. I was getting up at 6.30am to prep stuff before school, heading in and doing my day (and I maybe only did 2-3 lessons in a 6-10 lesson day), sitting doing paperwork until 7pm when the caretaker threw me out so he could lock up, continuing working when I got home until 12pm, and getting up to do it all again.

As well as working part time on the weekend to try and support myself in tandem with whatever bursary/loan I was getting, and maxing out my credit card continually. And when I wasn’t working, I was working on school stuff for the next week.

And I still failed. I was working SO DAMN HARD, to only fail again.

What kind of a life was this going to be?? The teacher mentoring me was AMAZING, but even I could see that her lifestyle and family was all entwined with her teaching too (kids helping her cut things out to laminate for her class at the weekend, etc.), so if she was still living the same way I was, did I really want this?

The simple answer was no. I wanted a job I enjoyed for a start, that wasn’t going to grind me into the ground to do it, or at least a job that would allow me to have a life outside of it. I wanted my time to be my own.

And then panic struck. If I was really going to stop 3 years into a 4 year Uni course with no plan B, I was going to have to do something about it. I was going to have to tell my parents.

I felt like a failure. Some days I still do. Some of my classmates have gone on to teach in Dubai and do amazing things, but I quit. Now I still got a degree in Educational Theory, but what did that leave me with?

I figured I would have to settle for a “normal job”, something to plod along day to day and pay the bills. And I would say, to a certain extent, until I started my blogging and Youtube channel and new business, that’s what I did. I “settled”.

I love my life outside of my job, and my day job isn’t bad, but it’s not something I want to sing about from mountaintops either. I was meant for more. 

I have been given a couple of amazing opportunities – and I’m going to grab them by the balls (sorry mum & dad), with the support of my family and my wonderful, patient husband.

What have you done today? 

If you want to see people who have made a major success either in terms of their lifestyle or income from the opportunity I’ve been given- go and have a look at Hayley McDonnell and Perrie Walker. It’s more than possible. Get in touch if you want to grab it for yourself.

Love as always,

Twinkle xo

P.S. If you’re interested in any of the amazing products I sell, go have a look on my facebook page: Twinklette’s Beauty

 

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